


...and dying leaves on the branch

by bereft_of_frogs



Series: hard road [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: (but there's no character death), Angst, Caretaking, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Magical Illness, Major Illness, Near Death Experiences, Odin's F- Parenting, Post-Avengers (2012), Prison, Protective Siblings, Sickfic, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 14:47:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19929820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bereft_of_frogs/pseuds/bereft_of_frogs
Summary: Alternative Ending to'bone and broth'.Loki has been brought back to Asgard and locked away in the bright cells far beneath the palace. But something is wrong with his magic and, upon returning from an extended trip away, Thor fears he might be too late to save his brother's life, especially when Loki's sickness seems to be tied to more sinister machinations.But he's going to try.





	...and dying leaves on the branch

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for this premise goes (somewhat inadvertently) to [@Mags](https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Kalaka/pseuds/Mags), who [asked on tumblr](https://bereft-of-frogs.tumblr.com/post/186354240577/a-how-did-you-come-up-with-the-title-to-dark) during an ask meme for an alternate ending to one of my other fics. Because I am a genius who can't keep the names of my own fics straight, I came up with this idea and wrote up a whole paragraph-long answer before I realized what I'd done. 
> 
> I rewrote my answer with an alternative ending for the correct fic, but I still really liked this alternate ending idea, so decided to give it a go! Picks up during the climactic scene of 'bone and broth' so if you haven't read that, you should go back and read that one first.

Thor grits his teeth, breathing hard. He turns back to Loki, who’s blinking up at him with glassy eyes.

“Don’t you see?” Loki whispers. “This is what Odin wanted all along. An execution. Just a slower one than most.”

“No,” Thor roars. _“No!”_

“Thor, don’t. Don’t make this more dramatic that it has to be.”

“You’re wrong. I’ll see to it myself.”

“Just stay with me,” Loki says. “Just stay. See? You’ve got what you wanted too.” Loki’s bony hand closes around Thor’s forearm. “It’s what you wanted, all those visits, all those desperate pleas to me. I’ve given up. Here at the edge of death, I cannot bear for you to leave me.” 

“No, I will not just sit here and watch you die, you will not force me to bear witness to this again!” He shouts.

“ _Thor_.”

“I will save you.” _This time_ , Thor thinks. He tears his arm from Loki’s grip. “Stay with him. If he gets worse ignore my father’s orders and send for the healers. And the queen. No,” Thor turns. “On second thought, send for the queen now.”

“Your highness,” The guard says cautiously. “Your highness, the queen is not here.”

Thor freezes. “Where is she?” Loki hand seizes his again, trying to tug him back.

“Brother…”

“She has traveled to Alfheim, my prince. At the Allfather’s command.”

There’s a roaring in Thor’s ears, a drumbeat of warning. “She’s gone? Why?”

“The Allfather said there was urgent business for her among the sorcerers. He insisted she depart right away.”

“Thor, don’t you see?” Thor turns back to his brother, who’s still tugging on his arm. Loki nods. “An execution.”

Thor sits heavily on the side of the bed, in shock. His mind whirls. His face feels cold, numb.

“He sent mother away. He sent me away.”

“So you would not return and try anything foolish.” Loki coughs again and the spell lasts for a long time. “Until it was too late. And it is too late. I’m dying, Thor, and I do not want to die alone.” Tears drip down Loki’s cheeks. Thor can do little more than gape at him. “Please, just stay. It’s what you wanted.”

“I cannot accept this.”

“I’m not asking you to accept this,” Loki says. “I’m just asking you to not allow me to die alone.”

Thor pulls out of Loki’s grip but does not move to rise again. Instead, he wipes the tears from his brother’s cheeks and pets back his sweat slicked hair.

“Leave us,” He commands the guards.

Loki goes limp with relief. “Thank you,” He gasps. “Thank you.”

“This does not mean I am giving up.”

Loki shakes his head. “You should not give yourself hope. It will only hurt more at the end. You should think me already dead.” Thor just shakes his head.

“Your highness-”

“Go. I will stay with him. Don’t…don’t summon my father. Just return to your posts.”

“Right away, my prince.”

Once the guards leave them alone, Thor ignores Loki’s fatalism and begins to quietly care for him, trying to get him to drink water, pressing a cool cloth to his forehead.

“What’s the use?” Loki moans when Thor goes to request fresh sheets and bedclothes from the guard. “I am only going to die.”

Thor grits his teeth. “Then you will be comfortable on your deathbed.” Loki seems to surrender, limply allowing Thor to lift him out of bed and carry him to the bath. “It will make you feel better.” Thor strips off his sweat-soaked and stained bedclothes and helps him into the bath. He half fills it with lukewarm water and uses a pitcher to wet his hair. Patiently, silently, he helps Loki wash his hair and his body, then has him lean back against the edge of the tub to comb out his tangled curls.

“I’ll have to wash this a second time,” Thor remarks.

“So my hair shall be clean for my grave?” Loki laughs, semi-hysterically. “You are doing nothing more than what the women will do after I am dead. Bathing my corpse to be wrapped in my shroud and burned.”

Thor says nothing in return to that, and instead washes Loki’s hair out until it is shining. Loki relaxes under his ministrations until he is sinking in the water, drifting to sleep.

The guards have left the fresh linens on the table. Thor leaves his brother to soak in the water and remakes the bed, then returns to help him dry off and dress. He carries him back into the main room and sits him on the lounge.

Loki makes a small noise of protest. “Bed?”

“Not yet. You should try to sit up for a moment. Drink some water. If you are too dizzy or in too much pain, tell me and I will help you back to bed.” Loki hesitates, but agrees to try drinking a little water and clear broth.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks suddenly.

Thor glances at him. Loki’s wavering on the sofa, barely able to keep upright. “You asked me to.”

“I expected you to refuse.”

“I’m not giving up.”

Loki looks like he might start crying again. “Why do you still love me?”

“Because you are my brother. I cannot help it.” He presses his hand to the side of his neck and gives Loki a weak smile.

Thor braids back his hair and pins it in place so it will not get tangled again, as long as Loki can stand to be sitting up. He last just long enough for Thor to finish, then allows Thor to help him back to bed. The warm water and clean sheets seem to have done their job; Loki already looks more relaxed, less flushed and gaunt, and though his breath still rattles in his chest, he does not slip into another coughing spell.

“Don’t you feel better now, brother?” Thor asks smugly.

Loki doesn’t answer, but just gives him a stubborn look in return. Thor’s heart delights that he still has it in him to be obstinate.

“I had thought it worked,” Loki says quietly. “I’d thought that you would not return in time. That you were return to an empty cell and I would have died cold and alone.” Loki bony fingers ball the sheets in his fists. “I even imagined that they would leave my body in place, and you would return to find my corpse rotting in this bed.” Thor takes his hand. “Staring up at the ceiling. Rotting. Ah,” His breath hitches and he coughs again. “It’s clearly what Odin intended, sending you both away.” A coldness seeps into Thor’s limbs and he sets his jaw. “Probably to prevent you saving my life, but perhaps to spare you the pain of watching me decay. He must know how sentimental you can be.”

“How long?” Thor asks bluntly. “How long do you have left?”

Loki’s breath hitches and he looks at Thor’s face with surprise in his eyes. For all his entreaties for Thor to accept his coming death, he seems not to have expected Thor to actually give in that easily. “Tomorrow, I expect. The day after, perhaps. I can feel,” He clears his throat. “I feel so cold. I can feel the cold _pulling_ at me. My magic is flickering. When it goes…” Thor touches his neck, slowly running his thumb over his cheek. Loki shudders. “Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

Thor shakes his head. “I will not leave you.”

He does rise for a moment, to lower the lights to a soft glow. But he quickly returns and lets Loki crawl into his lap. He holds him, soothing him to sleep.

Thor believes his brother has fallen to sleep, until he speaks in a low voice. “I cannot ask you to forgive me,” Loki says. “I know there is no absolution for me and I can’t…I can’t say that I am sorry. But thank you. For leaning on your antique sentiment to do this for me.” Thor shifts him in his arms, holding him tighter. “It really wasn’t all bad, was it? My life?”

Tears sting in Thor’s eyes. There’s a thick lump in his throat. “No. No, of course not.”

“We used to…used to care so much for each other, didn’t we?” Loki sniffs.

“I have loved you more dearly than anyone else, for a thousand years.”

“Hm,” Loki shifts closer. His eyes are drifting closed. “And I went and ruined everything. I do that. You’ll be happier when I’m gone. Should have killed the monster the moment you knew what I was. Spare yourself watching this slow death. You’ll be happier when it’s over.”

“ _No_.” Thor gets the sudden urge to shake furiously him again, to let his anger and determination take over. Return to the way he was when he first returned, desperate and begging his brother to stay. But he forces himself to calm. An outburst will only agitate Loki and then it will take longer for him to fall asleep. And none of this will _work_ if he does not fall asleep. “I’ve lost you once, remember?”

“Did you mourn?” Loki’s voice slurs. His eyes are fully closed now, his head heavy on Thor’s chest.

“I did. I mourned you. And I do not wish to do it again.”

“You have to…”

Thor says nothing else. If he speaks again he will lose control and all his plans will unravel. Loki doesn’t notice, too far gone into unconsciousness to pick up on his brother’s tension. Thor rocks him until he fully fades, noisy breathing evening out and muscles going limp.

He waits until he feels it has been long enough that Loki is truly asleep, then lays him back against the pillows. Loki doesn’t stir. “I will be back, brother,” Thor whispers, and kisses his forehead. He lingers a moment longer, watching his chest rise and fall.

Then he takes a deep breath, fixes his features to a grief-stricken, devastated expression and goes to the guards.

“I…he’s asleep now,” Thor affects a little sniffle. “I think…the end is near. He will not last the night.” The guards look a little uncertain, a little pained. Almost grieved, and Thor remembers a time when he and Loki both had been beloved princes of Asgard. “I will stay with him until he is gone. I ask that you give us this privacy and not tell my father what’s happening. I will go myself after…after…” He trails off, letting tears brim in his eyes.

The guard bows. “Of course, my prince. Of course.”

“I am going to go to his quarters and bring him back some things to comfort him. Old blankets, things like that. He is growing less and less coherent, I wish to keep him calm and quiet in his last hours.” The guards hurriedly agree again. “Summon me if there is any change.”

Thor leaves them. When his back is turned and he is far enough down the hallway, the stricken expression drops off his face, replaced by a look of firm determination. His eyes dry. Round a corner, and he picks up his pace, walking with purpose to the winding passage that leads out of the prisons.

He doesn’t have much time.

He had gone cold when he realized that Loki was right - that Odin had deliberately sent away the two people who would have saved Loki’s life, that he had refused medical care, even to ease his pain in his dying hours. This was an execution, carefully calculated to spare Odin the embarrassment of having to publicly execute his own son. Thor was not about to stand for it. His rage towards his father grows as he sneaks through the well-worn hidden paths through the palace, ensuring no one else but Loki’s guards know he has returned. He cannot help the rumors that have already spread of his return, but he hopes by sneaking in the shadows he can keep them merely rumors.

His anger is shot through with a stung confusion. He knew that Loki’s crimes had to be punished, but to condemn him to a slow and painful death by sickness seems far crueler than the usual justice. Thor has never seen such a thing in Asgard before. There’s a moment when he thinks of a memory of his father scooping them both up and whirling them around in the gardens, all three of them laughing in the sunshine, but the disconnect between the father of his memories and the one who would do this to his brother is too painful to dwell on for long.

He slips into Loki’s rooms, untouched since his fall. There is a thick layer of dust laying over everything. It feels oppressively still and silent, the feeling of a room that has been empty for far too long. Thor feels a pang when his eyes alight on his brother’s desk; there’s a book still open on the table, sheets of paper with scribbles on them, dried and crumbling herbs. The picture of a life suddenly interrupted. Loki must have been in the middle of a new working when their lives had collapsed around them. Thor moves past it, into his bedchamber.

Quickly, he finds a thick green cloak, a pair of well worn boots and a thicker tunic. He piles those on the bed and grabs a pack, swiftly shoving in a second change of clothes and, at the last moment, Loki’s journal when he spies it sitting on the desk. He also seizes a well-worn, familiar quilt from the foot of his bed after a moment’s hesitation and wraps what he has gathered in it.

The private path between their chambers is well-worn, but the air is stale and dusty from disuse. Nevertheless, Thor’s step is sure and silent as he moves through the passageway. He grabs his pack, still full from his journey to Vanaheim, transferring spare water and rations from his to Loki’s. He quickly changes his clothes, removing his distinctive armor and replacing it with plain leathers and a gray cloak. He has to freeze in place when he hears footsteps in the hall, but they pass without even a pause. No one has heard him, no one knows he has returned.

Heart pounding, he quickly finishes packing, grabs Mjolnir and goes to the stables. It is blessedly deserted at this hour. Thor hides the pack in his favorite mare’s stall and fetches her tack.

“We’re going on another little trip,” He whispers to her as he readies her for the journey. She snorts and shifts. “Shh. It will be our secret.” When the horse is ready to depart, he takes Mjolnir and the clothes he’d gathered and returns to the prisons. As the crown prince, he has easy access to the control panel and uses it to cut the power in half the prison, dropping them into darkness and distracting the prisoners and guards in the upper portions alike.

Loki’s guards don’t even see him coming. He drops them with a muttered apology and a hope he has not done too much damage.

Loki is still sound asleep, looking frail and gaunt in his bed. For a tense moment, Thor doesn’t think he sees his chest moving, and thinks he was too late, that he let his brother die alone. But then he takes a rattling, shaky breath in and shifts in his sleep and Thor’s knees go weak with relief.

Thor sets the clothes on the bed and shakes his shoulder.

“Loki. Brother, wake up. We haven’t much time.”

Loki groans and cracks an eye open. “What are you talking about?”

“We’re leaving.”

He comes awake a little more. “Leaving?” Thor pulls the blankets back, and sits him up. “Thor, _what are you doing?”_

“I am not letting you die.”

“Not letting me die in peace, you mean.”

“I’m saving you.”

Loki grabs his arm as he moves to grab the tunic. “What if you can’t?” Thor does not respond, wrenching out of his grip. “Thor, you are only about to ruin your own life, Father is going to be furious at you, you’ll just end up in a cell with me, or worse-”

“Loki, don’t you understand? I am not watching you die again, I cannot bear it. I care not what Father does to me and I will hear no argument. We’re getting out of here, I will make you well, and we will face the future together.” That seems to does the trick, or at least Loki is too foggy and feverish to argue further.

Thor pulls the leather tunic over his bedclothes, loosely fastening the front. He helps him pull on the boots and lace them, then slings the cloak around his shoulders. Loki doesn’t take his confused eyes off him the whole time. “Now. Can you stand or do I need to carry you?”

“Carry…? Thor, this is _madness_.”

“Then I’m mad. Hold onto me now.” Loki makes a sound of surprise and perhaps pain as Thor scoops him into his arms, but manages to wrap his arms around Thor’s neck. “Are you in pain?”

“It’s manageable,” Loki says through gritted teeth.

“Good. We must move quickly now.” Thor carries him through the barrier, past the still unconscious guards.

“ _Norns_ , Thor, what have you _done?”_

Frankly, he hasn’t given himself time to think about it. He knows what he has done is monumental, _catastrophic_ , but then he feels the way Loki burns and trembles against him and he can’t really find it in himself to care.

When Loki is out of danger, he will let himself think about how he turned himself into a traitor. How he likely gave up any chance of sitting on the throne, and left Asgard with no heirs. Given up his life, his friends. But those seem like distant concerns at the moment.

He moves quickly, even though no alarm has yet been risen. Now that Loki is in his arms and they’re moving, his heart is pounding, sweat dripping down the back of his neck. It would take only one guard making a wrong turn, one servant to spy them and scream, for his scheme to unravel, at the cost of his brother’s life and his own freedom.

“I’ll tell them I enchanted you,” Loki whispers. He seems to have followed Thor’s line of thought. “When we get caught, I can tell them I enchanted you.”

“We’re not going to get caught.” Thor hitches him higher and moves faster. “Besides, I doubt they’d believe you could even do a simple spell in this state.”

They cross the boundary of the prison, slipping out a little used exit, and Loki lets out a cry. His back bows and his fist grips Thor’s cloak.

“What is it? Loki?”

“Fine…it’s…magic,” He grits his teeth. “Ah, it hurts.” Thor kneels and waits, rubbing his back until the spasm passes. “The bonds are gone. My magic is back.” He shudders. “It simply…hurts.”

“You’ll get better. With time, and rest, it will be better.” Loki nods faintly and Thor gathers him up again. They move through the night, sneaking into the stables. Loki has quieted since they had paused, consciousness fading, but his heartbeat feels stronger where his chest presses to Thor’s and he no longer trembles.

“I’ll help you up…hold on to the saddle.” Thor sets him down and gives him a boost up onto the mare’s back, steadying him until he is sure his seat is secure. Then he grabs his pack, opens the stable door, and mounts the mare as well. He wraps a strong arm around Loki’s waist, nudging him back until he’s securely resting against Thor’s torso.

“You’re a fool,” Loki slurs tiredly. But he grabs Thor’s hand and squeezes.

“I’m not going to let you die, brother. You really must stop asking me to.”

Loki’s head lolls back against his shoulder as he loses the battle with consciousness. Thor kicks the mare into a canter and the two princes of Asgard disappear into the night.

“I don’t see what went wrong,” The young guard says nervously to his captain. “The power just died. But everything’s back on now.”

The captain shrugs. “It is likely nothing. Tell me if anything else goes wrong.”

It’s not until the following morning, at shift change, that anyone discovers the unconscious bodies of Loki’s guards and his empty cell.

The captain who reports this, and the news that the crown prince’s horse has also vanished in the night, to the king, retreats with a pale face and a terrified look in his eyes.

Odin’s rage is like the storm.

There is a Void in his chest, black and cold and empty. A Void that eats at him - _did you think you escaped, what a foolish little witch_ \- saps his strength and the feeling from his limbs. It would be so easy to give in…

Instead, Loki returns very slowly to consciousness. The agony in his body has dulled to a low throb. He feels weak and empty, limbs feeling like they could float away. He is drenched in sweat and chilled. His fever has broken. His magic has returned to him. He can feel it singing in his blood, gradually soothing the aches and holes caused by his long separation from it.

The light is dim and flickering in the room, not the cold brightness of his cell. The bed is soft but lumpy beneath him, and he’s covered by something that feels soft and worn and smells like himself and not the sterile prison sheets. He manages to crack open his eyes and looks up at rough hewn beams. His head lolls to the side.

Thor has his back to him, tending the fire.

“Where are we?” He croaks.

Thor turns, smiles. “A very discreet inn, as far as I could travel before dawn. Well, dawn yesterday. You’ve been asleep for a day and a half, brother.” Thor helps him sit up to drink cool water and settles him back against the pillows. “How are you feeling?”

“Wretched.” But better. No longer being tugged into the Void by death. Growing stronger. The past several weeks are little more than a feverish blur, but he gets impressions, vague memories. Being alone in a too bright cell. Begging Thor to stay with him. Thor bathing him, dressing him, carrying him out of the prison. “Slightly humiliated.” Thor gives him a questioning look. “Death brings out certain…dramatics that are perhaps rather embarrassing when one does not actually die.”

Thor looks relieved. “So the danger has indeed passed?”

“I suppose so. But it appears we have new dangers. You are a fool.”

“I wasn’t going to let you die in that cell. When it all became clear…I had to get you out of there.”

“By attacking the guards and aiding a convicted prisoner in escape?”

“I did what I felt I had to.” 

“You’re a traitor now. The towns must be crawling with Einherjar.”

Thor winces. “They are, I’ve checked a few times. I plan to leave at nightfall and move further into the mountains, if you feel you can be moved by then.”

“Where will we go?”

“We’ll worry about that once you’re better.”

“Sooner or later, some inn is not going to be so discreet. And we will be right back where we started.”

“And when you’ve recovered, you can use your magic to bring us by shadow path wherever we like,” Thor says brightly. “I do not expect this to be easy, brother. But I cannot regret my choice. We _will_ figure out what to do. Together.”

“You are an absolute _fool_.” Thor just tucks the blankets around him. Loki realizes he’s covered by his old favorite quilt, the one he’s had as long as he can remember. He had left it on the bed the day before he fell into the Void. Thor must have taken it from his room when they fled. His eyes sting and he clears his throat. He tries to prod Thor back into their debate to distract from the sudden well of fondness. “You have turned us into fugitives.”

“Yes. _Alive_ fugitives.”

They lapse into quiet for a while. The fire crackles and voices drift up from the downstairs barroom. Loki cannot stop running his hands over the fabric of the quilt.

“Aren’t you concerned that Odin was right?” Loki whispers, studying Thor’s expression. “That all this was an act, a trick to get you to take me from my cell, and now I will betray you yet again?”

Thor just gives him a scathing look. “If you can lift your arm above your head right now, I will entertain the idea that you have tricked me and are preparing to betray me.” Loki decides not to embarrass himself by trying.

“What about Mother?” Loki asks quietly. He had not seen her since his fall. He vividly remembers crying out for her, in the throes of fever and agony, and being told that she was gone.

Thor looks away, appearing guilty for the first time. “We’ll find a way to contact her.” Thor cups his neck, his hand heavy and warm. The ache in his joints, the exhaustion in his bones are starting to pull him back to sleep. “Just rest for now, brother.”

When he wakes, he will have to tell his brother the truth. He will have to tell him about the Titan, about what caused this illness, the way his magic had been torn and brutalized in the year he disappeared. They will be hunted not only by their own father, but by the Titan as well. There is likely no where to escape where they will not be pursued. They’re on their own now.

To the sound of the crackling fire and Thor humming absentmindedly, Loki slips back into unconsciousness and, despite the danger, he feels safer than he has in decades.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess it's slightly less of alternative 'ending' and perhaps more of an alternative beginning. I'm not putting too much pressure on myself to continue but you never know! (Especially considering I wrote this in a single day, straight through, on a lovely Sunday morning. So maybe that will happen again with the next part!)
> 
> I like to think that Thor and Loki take to the wilderness as nomads, trying to outrun both Asgard and Thanos, while Odin and Frigga freak out looking for them. (How right are Thor and Loki about Odin's motivations, hmm?)
> 
> Comments are great! For more angsty, disaster sibling content, writing progress, and to inadvertently spark your very own 'I didn't mean to continue this' ficlet, [find me on the tumblr @bereft-of-frogs.](https://bereft-of-frogs.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I'm serious about that last bit. I don't want to turn this into another too-long, too-complicated WIP, but I'd be super, _super_ into writing some other short oneshots in this timeline, so if you have ideas about things you'd like to see, leave them in the comments below or send them to me on tumblr. <3


End file.
